A. Ordinarily a family is defined in English and accepted in most of the western countries as:
Family – Father and Mother including living (loving) youth. I.e. Father, Mother including their unmarried
sons and daughters are considered as one family.
B. In India they say that – People of blood relation (father, grandfather, son and daughter) along with people of same clan which have participated in formation of blood relation (mother, grandmother, wife and daughter in law) whom one can see in his/her life time is called as Pariwar (Family).
Family is defined clearly in Ashram Vyavastha (Life span system). It says that there are four ashrams of twenty four years each in our life (assuming human life to be of hundred years) and so the total people one can see in his/her hundred years of life having blood relation and of same clan (Gotra) can be called Pariwar (family). To further elaborate it, at birth one can see/witness his blood relatives having age up to hundred years i.e. three generations before his parents(father of great grandfather) and then arriving at the age of hundred year the same person can see three generation(son/daughter of grandson) ahead of him. In this way people of seven generations constitute my Pariwar or can be called my Pariwar (family).
It is said that they have more or less same genetic (DNA) code and affect coming generation genetically.
C.. In ashram Vyavastha they say that at my birth my mother and father will be in his Grihastha Ashram, my grandparents in Banprastha Ashram, my great grandparents in Sanyas Ashram and may be my great grand grandparents are also in Sanyas Ashram, as I grow and enter into Grihastha Ashram my wife will also become member of my clan as well as part of my Pariwar (family), then at my entry into Banprastha Ashram and entry of my son into Grihastha Ashram, wife of my son will also become member of my family, further at the time of my departure from my Banprastha Ashram my grandson will enter into Grihastha Ashram and his wife will also become member of my family, when my grandson blessed with son/daughter I along with my wife will leave for Sanyas Ashram and thereafter will not have much interest in family tree. In this way all relation (of blood and responsible for formation of blood relation) four generation prior to me and three generation ahead of me can be considered my family member and is my Pariwar.
Along with it the relation formed by oath(Mansa, wacha, Karmna- thought, speech, work) either by me or my parents or my offspring are also part of my family e.g. sister, brother, son or daughter accepted by oath.
D. In India they say that member of my mother’s parental home, my grandmother’s parental home and member of my wife parental home and so on constitute a Kutumb (Pind-Larger Family). If we see this way then we will find each of us are connected some way or the other and so from here developed the concept and feeling of Vasudhaiv Kutumbkam – entire world is relative.
E. Looking at the above it will be my moral as well as genetic behavior to look after all these relative with affection and dutifully to take care of all these with love or even if I/we have to sacrifice our life/lives, but when we feel like sacrificing our live or others’ lives dharma has to be the guide and only as a last resort.
Further to it following is submitted:
1. In a society where two child norms are accepted and followed, and wherein security (physical, mental, financial, emotional and if possible spiritual) are given due weightage and are not taken for granted, system of Pariwar as described above works well giving healthy, happy and holy life to each constituent. After two child enhancement of every new child leads to forgetting/abandoning of one generation and with the lapses in security (physical, mental, financial and emotional) many generations are exterminated at once.
2. Pariwar described above is ultimate in growth and development, and the family described above is beginning of growth from anarchy/slavery/nomadism. Concept of Pariwar will be fully materialized/functional when entire globe is one, till then we have to satisfy ourselves with Pariwar of three to four generations.
3. In a current situation it is more the responsibility of religious center then the so called failed welfare states to put forward the concept of two child (boy and girl) norm so that aged and chidden of our society get due physical, financial and emotional support from us and we will get our dues from our children and our grand and great grandson/daughter.
4. Law on Hindu undivided family and Muslim personal law have to be reviewed and rectified. Marriages between cross cousin and parallel cousin also need to be reviewed for our better race. Necessary research and study need to be done in Ashram, Vyavastha and Varna(Caste/clans)vyvastha and suitable findings/suggestions need to be implemented in social, governance and judicial system.
Pariwar – Parampara Riti wa Rivaz- Concept of Pariwar (Family) was developed to follow tradition, custom and rule so that we and our elders and offspring’s enjoy healthy happy holy life.